You’re in luck lazy people! The good folks at RushTix have done all the hard work of planning your weekend for you! Here are your best bets for fun stuff to do this sexy San Francisco weekend based on our scientific analysis on how your week went.
1. Your week was HARD.
The cool kids at your new startup job made fun of you for drinking Miller Lite instead of PBR at the last happy hour. You need a good laugh to cheer you up. You should go to:
“King of the Hill” BATS Improv Battle:
If you’re tired of trolling George RR Martin’s twitter page for new book updates, and can’t wait for the new GOT season, watch trained improvisers create new storylines in the fantastical world of Westeros in this super funny improv battle. Valar Risitios (all men must laugh).
2. Your week was DEPRESSING.
You’ve been fighting with your significant other, your roommates, and your cat. You just need to watch guys throw stuff at each other. You should go to:
Pro Ultimate Disc Playoff: SF VS Seattle
Watching these amazing athletes run, catch, and dive for spinning hard plastic circles is just right amount of adrenaline rush for the casual sports lover. It’s all the excitement of baseball, basketball, and football with the gracefulness of jazz runs and ballet leaps, also like, one millionth of the price.
3. Your week was BLAH.
Your construction job pays well, but all you do all day is hammer nails into things and eat bag lunches on sidewalks and whistle at pretty girls who walk by because you’re a fan of short skirts and stereotypes. You need some culture. You should go to:
Celebrate Afro-Peruvian music and dancing with frolicking South American style, it’s like North American style, but lower.
4. Your week was ANNOYING.
Stupid tourists at your part time retail job kept coming in and unfolding your stacks of perfectly board folded souvenir “I Heart SF” t-shirts. You need to drink. You should go to:
The Drinking Game Comedy Show:
Even if you lose a drinking game, you’re still winning, because alcohol.
5. Your week was BORING.
You answer phone all day long at your telemarketer job, “hello this is Sandy, can I interest you in exotic pet insurance” … “Hello it’s Sandy, can I interest you in exotic pet insurance” and no one ever says yes. How many people have Komodo dragons and chinchillas in San Francisco anyway? You need some intellectual stimulation. You should go to:
Emperor Norton’s Fantastic Waterfront Time Machine
Not only learn about, but meet, the real live Emperor Norton (well, he is real and live, whether of not he’s actually THE Emperor Norton is a discussion as old as Santa Claus and tooth fairies) as he takes you on a magical tour of San Francisco.